yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
