I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
