the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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