Screwed.edu
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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