Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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