If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So much rum. So many feels.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
