Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
