I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
