I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
