Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
