So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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