New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
