i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think my moral compass just broke
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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