i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
