I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
