who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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