You work out of a Hotel?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
