Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
