time to smoke my breakfast
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
