i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
