That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
