What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
