OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
