I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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