He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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