uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
