we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
50% drunk capacity currently
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
