the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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