I wannas sexs uuuuu
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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