Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
