Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
