I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't deserve a penis
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
