im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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