soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
