I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
