I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
