I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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