How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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