what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
