apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
