I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
