he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
