i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
