Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
