can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
