WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize