i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
