have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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