there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
someone owes me an orgasm
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
