as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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